Weight Loss Fashion

Today I am sharing a post that is a little different to my foodie post. I have spoken in the past about my weight loss journey. I still have not reached my final target but I have reached my original target and I am finally feeling happy with how I am. Since I returned to the working world a few weeks ago I have been getting glimpses of the old Kirsty coming back and I love it!

Along with the weight loss and returning to work I definitely needed some new clothes. So when I got an email asking me if I would like to try out some summer clothes the timing was perfect. When it came to deciding what to try I knew that I would need some blouses and dresses. But I like clothes that can be multi functional, items that can be worn for work but also at the weekend.

Home Improvements and a New Office

At last we have some news on the home improvements front. At the moment our outhouses are being transformed from a shed and coal house to a washing room/utility and a new larder. It is ridiculous how excited I am simply about having a larger utility and the opportunity to finally get a tumble drier. Then there is the larder! As we live in an older house storage is a huge problem so to have a room specifically for food storage will be a huge help. After my visit to River Cottage I am even hoping for some space to hang cured meat!

But something else that can now happen inside thanks to the building work is that I can finally have my own work space. The room that is now our small utility is to be my office. Having my own work space has got me thinking about how I will decorate the room, what will I furnish it with, as it will be my study I will need some work furniture. I already have some beautiful images for the wall which I think are fitting for my blog..

Word of the Week - 27th June 2014

I will pre warn that this is not the happiest of post, I am sorry.

This weeks word undoubtedly has to be..

Anxiety

I am feeling extremely anxious.

Yesterday I took a huge step and went to see the doctor.

For the last 3 - 4 months I have had a huge black cloud hanging over me. Thinking back, it arrived 10 months ago when we lost my grandad. But during the last few months it has really been effecting me. I finally decided at the beginning of the week that I needed to confront it and admit I have a problem. There are only so many melt downs and tears that one person can take! I knew there was something wrong as this is just not me. I am not like this. I have a happy home life, three beautiful children and an incredibly supportive husband. I have no reason to feel like this.

But I do.

As soon as I walked into the doctors room I broke down and it all came out. I have been diagnosed with depression. The doctor has said that it may be a delayed form of PND or it may be a build up of everything and it has suddenly come to a head. I cannot believe that I am saying any of this. This is not me. Or that's what I thought anyway.

Today is the start of change. I am going to tackle it and dig myself out of the hole that I am in. I have started some medication today which I am anxious about. She did warn me that the side effects can be horrible for the first 2 - 3 weeks. I have researched on line and so many people have said how awful they are so reading that has made me more anxious. It is is worrying but the doctor said that if I can stick them out they can really help. So I am trusting her and am hoping I am strong enough to stick out whatever side effects I get, if any.

I want to be proactive on my recovery. I am planning to get out more. I want to attend play groups with the twins, there is a new twins group which I was contacted about so I might start there. But first I need to get in the right frame of mind. I just know I don't like the way I am feeling at the moment.

Sorry if I am rambling on. The doctor told me to talk, but I am not a talker. But I am a writer, I can write about my feelings and emotions in a way I cannot talk. It is easier to write it down. To get it out of my head. So thank you for "listening". 

As always I am sharing my word of the week with the lovely Jocelyn at The Reading Residence

How I've Changed

Its is just gone 6am. I am sat downstairs with a coffee and Taylor has got his morning milk. Once upon a time I would have been mortified if you told me I would be up and about at this time.
Since having the twins, I feel that I have changed in so many ways.
Before they arrived I was very career minded and wanted to progress within the organisation that I worked for. Even during my twin pregnancy I was convinced that by 6 months off I'd be itching to get back, that's how much I loved my job.
However once they did arrived everything changed. Work never entered my mind and as my maternity leave flew by I felt my stomach tie up in knots whenever I thought about leaving my children. It wasn't just being with the twins that changed my outlook, but spending time with Joseph also made me realise what I was missing.
When Joseph was nearly 3 I started my job and was lucky that there was a nursery on site so I never felt far away from him until he started school. The place that I worked was 20 minutes away from the village that we live in so I relied heavily on a childminder. I'd drop him off just after 8 in the morning and most days I wouldn't collect him until 6pm. During my maternity leave I got to do the school run, which I had never had chance to do unless I had a day off. For me, I find this walk to and from school, a lovely time of day and feel lucky to be able to do this now after not being able to for so long.
Hubby has also had a huge part in my changes. He has given me the security and contentment that I longed for.
When we moved into our house last year we all settled straight in, this was meant to be our family home, the place that we will raise our children and grow old together. With the house another unexpected change happened within me, not only did I want to be a stay at home mum but I also wanted to be a 'housewife'. I had never been one that stayed at home before but I was starting to thrive on being at home and taking care of our family and home.
I can honestly say, hand on heart, I do not miss my job and feel so lucky that I am able to be at home with the children. I may feel differently in a couple of years but we'll deal with it if that time comes but until then I'll enjoy watching our children grow and caring for our home.