Our Premature Twins - Hospital Check Up

Today I am a bag of nerves.
Today the twins have got their 6 month check up with the paediatrics at the hospital.
The day before and on the day of the appointment I always get myself quite worked up. It is never a good trip to the hospital, not because we get bad news about the twins health, but because they hate going so much. They hate being messed around and are both shy, Isabella more than Taylor but having strangers looking at them is enough for the pair of them to scream the whole time we are there.
Ever since their first out patients appointment, I have got my hopes up that they would be discharged because there really is nothing wrong with them.
Yes, they were 5 weeks premature, but that all.
Thankfully neither have any health issues now and are both fit and healthy toddlers.
The last 3 appointments that we have had I have left in tears because I had got my hopes up that it would be our last visit.
So, you would have thought, by now, I would know better than to set my heart on being discharged. But for the forth time, I have done it again.
My hope are up, and they are way up there this time!
If they do not discharge them today I think I might challenge it and ask exactly why they need to see them again as it stresses both them, hubby and myself.
Thankfully the twins did not have a long stay in neonatal care after they were born.
Our babies were born at 34+6 weeks by emergency c section due to my waters breaking and labour starting.
Isabella was the lead baby and was breech while Taylor was transverse so there was no chance of a natural birth as I had hoped for earlier in my pregnancy.
Isabella was born weighing 5lb 13oz and 2 minutes later Taylor was born weighing 6lb 0.5oz. Isabella was taken straight into neonatal intensive care after we had a quick look at her. Taylor was given to hubby so we got to see him for a couple of minutes before he too was taken.
It seemed like a lifetime in recovery waiting to find out if my babies were ok.
As soon as I could leave recovery they took my bed over to a room just off the neonatal ward and I saw and held my beautiful little girl for the first time.
But I couldn't see my beautiful boy.
Taylor was having trouble breathing so he had been placed straight into an incubator and had a c-pap placed over his nose to give him oxygen. I wanted to hold my baby so much but wasn't able to. It was heartbreaking to see him in there and here him whimpering. We were so worried about him as his condition went up and down.

Our poorly boy

Isabella was doing well to start with but then she developed jaundice so was being tube fed and had to spend time on the billy bed.

Out little lady meets her big brother for the first time

Thankfully after a few days Taylor made huge improvements and was taken out of the incubator and placed on a billy bed as he too had developed jaundice.
I stayed with them for 1 week before I was discharged. I had to be discharged for my sanity and for my other baby, Joseph. He really did struggle during the week that I was in hospital and he needed me at home for a bit more normality in his life. But leaving them both there was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

The afternoon that they brought both of my babies
to me on the ward before I had to leave them

The twins first photograph together

When they were moved from the neonatal intensive care room into the special baby room we were over joyed, they were going in the right direction.
Then when they were moved into the nursery room we knew that they were only one step away from home!
We then got the news that we were waiting for.
They wanted to discharge the babies so they asked hubby and I to go and stay in the nicu flat and have the babies with us for the night with a view to discharge them the next day. That night we got no sleep at all and were exhausted but we were overjoyed when, after a long day, they said that our babies could come home!

 

 

At last, our babies were home

 

They were there for only 12 days, I say only, but at the time it felt like an eternity.
When I remember their first weeks it still pulls at my heartstrings, I think it always will. Joseph was a neonatal care baby too and I feel that I missed so much with him in the 6 weeks that he was in. I spent every moment I could with him but I'm sure many mums that have had a child in neonatal care straight after they were born will say the same.
However, now, when I look at my beautiful children it is hard to believe that we went through so much.
They are now both fit and healthy toddlers who are like any other child their age.
I just hope that, today, the doctors see that and say goodbye to us.



My Twin Pregnancy Story

When I think back to my twin pregnancy it seems like a such a long time ago. Ever since the twins arrived life has been non stop.
From the start of our relationship, James and I knew that we wanted children. I had already got Joseph and I didn't want him to be an only child.
After we got married we decided to let nature take its course and I came off the pill. I had one period then nothing.
Could I really be pregnant after just one month?
We bought a pregnancy test. I desperately wanted it to be positive. There it was an extremely faint line, but it was there. Over the next week we did another test, followed by a digital test just to make sure we weren't seeing what we wanted to see. They were all positive.
I was pregnant!
The first few weeks I was exhausted and had terrible nausea. I couldn't remember feeling that tired when I was pregnant with Joseph but just put it down to working a lot and looking after Joseph.
When I was just 8 weeks into the pregnancy we took Joseph to London and Lego Land for his birthday. This trip wiped me out and I spent the last two days being violently sick, nothing would stay down. It was during this trip I bought my first maternity trousers. Already my regular trousers were too tight.
When we got back home I was still being terribly sick so I visited the doctor who signed off on sick from work and told to get plenty of rest.
When I returned to work people were astounded to see that I already had a bump. This was when the twins were considered a possibility. I knew that my dates were not wrong but I put my bump down to the fact that this was my second pregnancy.
A week before the scan date I started to bleed.
Admittedly, looking back, it was not a lot, but I panicked! I rang the midwife who told me to go straight to the Early Pregnancy Unit. I remember ringing James and telling him to come home. I drove from work to my mum and dads house in a daze. I was trying to emotionally prepare myself for bad news. When I saw my parents I broke down. I was so scared that I was loosing our baby. When James arrived he was my rock. We made our way to the hospital and waited to be seen. I remember looking at other women's bumps and hoping mine was ok. When they started to scan me, my tears started. I was just waiting for them to say
"I'm sorry but..."
Then I saw it, there on the screen I saw our baby, it was our baby, it was ok! Then there was another. At first I thought that it was a split screen and the the second one was the same baby from a different angle. We then got the question
"are there twins your family?"
I couldn't reply, but James told them that his dad was a twin. We then realised that it was not a split screen, we were looking at our two babies, we were having twins. We were told that we were having fraternal twins (non identical) which meant that each baby was in their own individual sack and had their own placenta. This, we were told, is the safest form of twins to carry and they have the fewest risks.
I went through a mixture of emotions from relief that I was still pregnant to fear! One baby was hard work, how would I cope with two? That soon changed to excitement, would we have 2 boys? 2 girls? A boy and a girl? Next I had a feeling which continued until the day they were born, that was worry. I worried that they were developing ok, I worried they'd be born too early, I worried about whether they'd both have enough room, I worried about everything. I was carrying two delicate loads and that did mean double the worry.
Once we knew that we were having twins I started to look for information on twin pregnancies. I was disappointed to see that all of the information from the midwife was for "singleton" pregnancies, there was one page of information on twins and multiple births, just one page! This started my online hunt for information. During this time I came across TAMBA, Twins and Multiple Birth Association, who became my first port of call for information. We are still members of this charity and will be for quite a few more years!
I knew from early on in my pregnancy that I wanted to breastfeed. When we found out that we were expecting twins this did not change. But I did invest in a good electric breast pump. I knew I would need help and if I expressed I knew I would have this. It was also in my thoughts that there was a high chance that the babies would be born early so I was also prepared for this.

My growing bump at 17 weeks

The first 18 weeks went well. We started to have regular, 4 weekly, hospital appointments with our consultant and everything was going well and my bump certainly was growing!

At around 19 weeks I started getting pains in the base of my back and in my pubis area. I was diagnosed with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. I was told that I needed to reduce my working hours down to just mornings as this was when I was at my best. Unfortunately I was unable to do this so I was signed off as unfit to work. I was disappointed as I had wanted to work longer but now I could rest and keep my babies inside and safe.

Christmas - 27 weeks

When Christmas arrived I was 27 weeks and I remember people saying to me

"Oooh are you having a Christmas baby?"
I was so big. When I told them that I had another 13 weeks to go peoples faces dropped, it was quite amusing but also quite annoying. Some people would be quite rude with their reactions. I remember people saying that I was unlucky! I felt like the luckiest person alive, I was carrying not one but two babies, how is that unlucky?
We were extremely worried about the babies coming early so we didn't like to look too far ahead. We prayed we would get to each hospital appointment and once we had got there we looked to the next. Each week, each day that I carried the babies was another safe day for them in the warm.
At our 28 week appointment we found out that "twin a" was breech. We were told that she could still turn, however I was not too sure. Would there be enough room for her to turn? So we had to accept that there was a good chance that our twins would be born via caesarean section. I had wanted a natural birth but I also knew that I wanted the safest possible delivery for the babies.
When I got to 31 weeks I noticed how I was getting a persistent itching on my hand and up my arms. I would sit and scratch so much I would make myself bleed. Nothing I did would ease it and it was constantly there. I rang the midwife and explained it to her and she sent me straight for blood tests. It was when the results came back I was diagnosed with Obstetric Cholestasis.
Obstetric Cholestasis is a liver condition that affects fewer than 1 in 100 women. It is when the bile salts that flow from the liver to the gut do not flow as they should and build up in the body. This increases the chance of premature birth. This added to our worries. I had to take some medication to help and have weekly blood tests to check the levels of bile in my blood. From this time on the hospital would become my second home. We had a couple of false alarms and spent many an hour there.
I was scheduled to have a caesarean section at 37 weeks.
At this stage I took each day as a bonus and another day of protection for my babies.
Soon after I had my diagnosis the Braxton hicks started. I had them so often they became part of our day and I would sit stroking my bump, telling them to stay in the warm where it was nice and safe and get bigger before coming to meet us.
When I got to 34 weeks I was absolutely enormous. Even walking became hard work. My bump was so heavy. When I walked I literally held my bump up for support.
When I was 34 weeks and 5 days I broke down to James. I was so tired, so big, uncomfortable and I'd just had enough. I remember saying to him
"I just want them to come now, I've had enough!"
After I'd had a good cry and a moan I was ok and rapidly backtracked and kept on saying
"I don't want them out, I want them to stay just where they are"
I was either trying to convince myself I was ok or I was saying it over and over in the hope that they would hear me and take notice!

The day before the twins arrived 34 weeks 5 days

That night in the early hours, a popping sound woke me up, then I felt something warm. I felt my leg and it was wet. This was it, it was happening today and there was nothing I could do about it. I woke James up and after the call to hospital and a call to my mum to come and look after Joseph we got my hospital bag and went to have our babies.

I was examined and was told that I was in labour but they needed to get steroids into me to help develop the babies lungs. It was also during this examination we were told that our little girl was still breech and our little boy was transverse (sideways) so a caesarean section would be done.
My labour progressed quickly and once I was dilated 4cms they knew that they would not be able to get the second dosage of steroids in me as they had wanted to. I was rushed down to theatre. I remember feeling so scared for my babies, would they be ok? Was it too early? Would they be big enough? The worrying thoughts were endless whilst I was on my own being prepared for the surgery. Once James was allowed back in he calmed me down as he always does.
It all seemed to happen so quickly. Isabella was delivered first. It felt like an eternity waiting to hear her cry, but in reality it must have only been a minute or so. But then we heard her. We quickly saw her and were told that she weighed 5lb 13oz then she was quickly taken into Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Taylor was born exactly 1 minute later weighing 6lb 0.5oz. He was not rushed off as quick and my husband got a cuddle for a couple of minutes. He looked so small, all we could do was stare at him. They soon wanted to take him to be with his sister. I told my husband to go and be with the babies while the surgeons finished my surgery and I went onto recovery.
Once I was out of recovery I was able to see Isabella and have a cuddle. She seemed so small. However I was told that I was not able to see Taylor as he was having breathing difficulties.
When I was returned to the ward I felt so empty and hollow. My babies had been delivered but they weren't with me. When the other new mums were returned to the ward with their babies my heart ached for my babies.
I was soon moved to another section of the ward which was for mum's whose babies were in NICU. After a week I decided to go home. Before I left I was able to have the babies with me for one night. It was the most exhausting night I have ever had and I did not get a minutes sleep, but I loved it. I had my babies by my side.

The morning after my first night with the twins before I left hospital

Leaving the hospital was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. But I am ashamed to say I was forgetting my other baby, Joseph. He needed his mummy at home. Leaving the hospital I was nearly on my knees in floods of tears. I felt like my heart was being ripped out. But once I got home I knew that I had made the right decision to leave.

Each day the babies grew stronger and their health improved. They were soon moved from the NICU room to the Special Care Baby Unit. Which was a huge step on the right direction.
After 12 days we were told that the twins were well enough to come home.
Those 12 days were the longest 12 days and went by in a complete blur of hospital visits. When we were told that the twins could come home we were overjoyed. It all became real as we were putting them in the car.

We had done it, they had survived and we were taking home two small, healthy babies.

At last we were all at home, all 5 of us, our perfect, not so little, family.

My advice for any expectant twin mum would be to take each and every day as it comes, get as much rest as you possibly can and try to enjoy your pregnancy. Carrying twins is hard work on your body but it is a truly magical feeling when you feel two little babies moving around inside.

This is just the start of an extremely exciting journey that you will be going on.

This post was written as a guest post for Kiddieclinic parenting forum who can be found at:

http://www.kiddieclinic.co.uk/

I also mentioned TAMBA, Twins & Multiple Birth Association who can be found at:

https://www.tamba.org.uk/