Life and Luck Before 40!

Photograph courtesy of Pixabay

Today is my birthday.

Today I turn 39.

39, how can I be 39?

All of a sudden the years seem to have crept up. Next year I hit the big 4 0. I remember feeling dread as I went from my 20's into my 30's then once my birthday was over I realised it was not such a big deal. So why is 40 such a big deal?

People say that once you hit 40 you have hit mid life but I am going into my final year of my thirties with a different view. When I hit 40 I am going to be going into some of the best years of my life. During my thirties I have noticed a huge difference in how I feel about life. I went into my thirties as a single working mum to J. During my 30's I met, fell in love with and married my hubby. He turned my life into something that I dreamt of. He gave me the stability and completed me in a way that I always longed for. We have been blessed with our beautiful twins and have a loving family. My 30's have been the most settled, happy and stable years. Lady luck has definitely been on my side and as I go into the final year of my 30's I am actually looking forward to seeing how my life changes during my 40's.

Living off the Grid

How many times have you looked around your house and looked at all of the electrical items that we constantly use? Not many times I bet, I know that we don’t. So when Flogas asked me what I would miss if I was to live off the grid it really did get me thinking about the things that we all take for granted. We all automatically turn on the hot taps and expect hot water, we all flick a switch for light and always go to the fridge for cold milk.

Courtesy of Pixabay

The foodie that I am, I would definitely miss my kitchen amenities. I would miss being able to go in the kitchen and put the kettle on for a drink or putting the oven on to bake and cook our meals. Having the electricity to keep food in the fridge and being able to freeze food to keep for longer. When you take a moment to think about how much we rely on having these creature comforts you realise how they are taken for granted.

Wednesday Words - Life

Being on holiday and spending time with the people closest certainly makes you appreciate life.
So much has happened during the last couple of months that has also made me think of life and how we perceive and live it.
We have suffered the loss of my grandad and celebrated the lives of the twins when they were christened.
Now we are enjoying spending more quality time together this week away. I have loved watching the 3 children enjoy their time away. I have especially enjoyed watching the twins get their first experience of the outdoors and puddles now that they have their new found freedom out of their pushchair.
As soon as I read this quote I thought it was a very meaningful way to look at life and one that I will remember.

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.” ― Mother Teresa

Wednesday Words are hosted by Emma at Crazy With Twins. This week she has written a beautiful poem http://www.crazywithtwins.com/2013/10/23/wednesday-words-finding-light/#respond

My Boy Turns 9

I cannot believe that 9 years ago I was in labour with my first child!
Where has the time gone?
Joseph has changed me in so many ways. From the moment that I found out that I was pregnant my life changed.
I was no longer the centre of the universe, he was! I changed from a selfish girl, I only cared about what I wanted to do to someone who had a purpose in life. As soon as I found out I was pregnant my whole mindset changed.
There was somebody more important.
When I had Joseph I was living in Gran Canaria, I had no family there and was on my own. Going through it all made me stronger. If I could do this I knew I could do just about anything!
When I found out that I was pregnant I was 21 weeks gone.
People often ask "how could you not know you were pregnant?"
I honestly didn't! I was extremely underweight and I didn't have regular periods so not having one was nothing new. As for the bump, there really wasn't much of one and I thought I was just putting on weight! After a couple of friends had innocently asked me if I was pregnant I did a test. Purely just to prove them all wrong!
But it was me who was wrong!
The rest of my pregnancy flew by.
On Saturday 18th September 2004, 2 weeks early, my contractions as started. The following day I went to hospital and was kept in. My contractions were getting worse but I wasn't dilating and Joseph was getting in distress so they induced me and broke my waters.
4 hours and 55 minutes later, Joseph was born.
That was the second I knew that I would do absolutely anything for him and loved him unconditionally.
When Joseph was 6 months old we came home and settled back down in England. This was the best move that we made.

 

I spent the first couple of years as a stay at home single mum to Joseph.
When he was nearly 3 I returned to work. I was extremely lucky that the place that I went to work had a nursery on site so we were always close to each other.

 

When Joseph started school I missed him so much. He settled straight into school. I felt, and still do, so proud of him when I watch him walk into school.
When James came into our lives he not only completed my life but he also completed Joseph's. He gave him something that, at one time, I thought that he would never have.
He became his dad.
Joseph thinks the world of him and he is his dad.
He certainly did us both proud on our wedding day when he handed over the wedding rings during the ceremony.

 

When I look at the boy he has become I cannot believe how much he has matured during the last 19 months. After the twins arrived he had to grow up a bit, he was not the only one anymore but he did so well adapting to having our new additions home. He is such a caring and considerate big brother. At times driving us nuts with his antics but he is happy. That is all we can ask of him as parents, that he is respectful to others and happy in himself.
My boy is 9 tomorrow, that means that I have had 9 fantastic years with him. 9 years ago my life began and for that I will ever be thankful that he came into my life, he has made me who I am today.

I love you Joseph, happy birthday xxx

Life Goes On

Yesterday was the hardest day ever.
I am not ready to talk about yesterday yet, but I do want to start of thinking of how I can start to move on.
Tomorrow I will begin!
This last week everything has ground to a halt. When I say everything, I mean everything!
Our house hasn't been this upside down in a long time. I have got so far behind with housework, washing, ironing even my baking has ground to a halt!
Starting tomorrow I am going to start getting some control back.
This house is going to have a blitz, it is going to be cleaned, polished and hoovered from top to bottom. I need to do this at the end of the day my life and my families lives go on not matter how hard it is.
But I am also aware of how seeing me upset and crying is affecting Joseph.
The twins are too young to completely realise what is going on but they can sense something is not right, but Joseph is nearly 9, he does understand. We had a heartbroken little boy last night but today he seems to be stronger. I need to take a leaf out of his book. Whenever he has seen me cry today, he has rushed over to give me a hug. Normally you need to beg Joseph for a hug. I need to deal with my grief in a way that is not going to cause the children upset or worry.
They are my focus. Them and my rock of a hubby.
I know that my Grandad would be telling me this!
I also have some bread to be baking. Not only for my family but I am excited to take part in the Great Bloggers Bake Off. It is a fantastic idea that has come from bloggers of The Crazy Kitchen and Mummy Mishaps. When I saw it on Twitter I was too late for the cake bake off so I am determined to find the time this weekend to bake some bread. I have already had my baking thinking cap on and have got an idea but obviously so far this week it has not materialised.
Tomorrow will be different! My bread will be baked!
So watch this space :-)
First things first, I need to spend some time with my hubby and live life in the present and look to the future. I know we are being watched over and this gives me strength.

For more info on Great Bloggers Bake Off visit
http://www.thecrazykitchen.co.uk/p/the-great-bloggers-bake-off.html
http://www.mummymishaps.co.uk/category/gbbo

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Feeling Run Down

Im not feeling great at the moment so I am glad that it is a bank holiday weekend and I have got my hubby at home for an extra day.
I just feel so worn out and run down. Because of everything that is happening in our family at the moment I am worrying a lot which probably is not helping. I feel that I am worrying about everyone.
Obviously I am extremely worried about my grandad and the time we have left with him
I worry about my nanna. My grandad is her carer so therefore with him being poorly I worry about how my nanna is coping.
I worry about my dad. After all it is his dad that this is happening too. I know how I feel about my mum and dad and if I was faced with this news about either of them I would be devastated.
I worry about my sister. She lives even further away which must be hard.
My nanna and grandad living so far away doesn't help anyone. We are all trying to be there as much as we can for them.
On Wednesday my grandad has got a session of radiotherapy which in the short term will make him feel bad but in the long term will relieve the pain and will give him a better quality of life. This is what we need to remember when he is not good.
All of what is happening certainly does make you appreciate every single day and makes you thankful for what we have got. It is so easy to take life and people for granted and it is not until you are faced with life threatening situations you fully appreciate every hug, kiss, wink of an eye, every word spoken. I will cherish every single moment that we have left with my grandad. As a family we need to make this Christmas count as it may be our last one all together.
I thank God for all my family, my husband, my children, my mum and dad, my sister and her family, my grandparents, and my mother in law. Together we give each other all of the support that we need and together we will get through this.