When I think back to my twin pregnancy it seems
like a such a long time ago. Ever since the twins arrived life has
been non stop.
From the start of our relationship, James and I
knew that we wanted children. I had already got Joseph and I didn't
want him to be an only child.
After we got married we decided to let nature take
its course and I came off the pill. I had one period then nothing.
Could I really be pregnant after just one month?
We bought a pregnancy test. I desperately wanted
it to be positive. There it was an extremely faint line, but it was
there. Over the next week we did another test, followed by a digital
test just to make sure we weren't seeing what we wanted to see. They
were all positive.
I was pregnant!
The first few weeks I was exhausted and had
terrible nausea. I couldn't remember feeling that tired when I was
pregnant with Joseph but just put it down to working a lot and
looking after Joseph.
When I was just 8 weeks into the pregnancy we took
Joseph to London and Lego Land for his birthday. This trip wiped me
out and I spent the last two days being violently sick, nothing would
stay down. It was during this trip I bought my first maternity
trousers. Already my regular trousers were too tight.
When we got back home I was still being terribly
sick so I visited the doctor who signed off on sick from work and
told to get plenty of rest.
When I returned to work people were astounded to
see that I already had a bump. This was when the twins were
considered a possibility. I knew that my dates were not wrong but I
put my bump down to the fact that this was my second pregnancy.
A week before the scan date I started to bleed.
Admittedly, looking back, it was not a lot, but I
panicked! I rang the midwife who told me to go straight to the Early
Pregnancy Unit. I remember ringing James and telling him to come
home. I drove from work to my mum and dads house in a daze. I was
trying to emotionally prepare myself for bad news. When I saw my
parents I broke down. I was so scared that I was loosing our baby.
When James arrived he was my rock. We made our way to the hospital
and waited to be seen. I remember looking at other women's bumps and
hoping mine was ok. When they started to scan me, my tears started. I
was just waiting for them to say
"I'm sorry but..."
Then I saw it, there on the screen I saw our baby,
it was our baby, it was ok! Then there was another. At first I
thought that it was a split screen and the the second one was the
same baby from a different angle. We then got the question
"are there twins your family?"
I couldn't reply, but James told them that his dad
was a twin. We then realised that it was not a split screen, we were
looking at our two babies, we were having twins. We were told that we
were having fraternal twins (non identical) which meant that each
baby was in their own individual sack and had their own placenta.
This, we were told, is the safest form of twins to carry and they
have the fewest risks.
I went through a mixture of emotions from relief
that I was still pregnant to fear! One baby was hard work, how would
I cope with two? That soon changed to excitement, would we have 2
boys? 2 girls? A boy and a girl? Next I had a feeling which continued
until the day they were born, that was worry. I worried that they
were developing ok, I worried they'd be born too early, I worried
about whether they'd both have enough room, I worried about
everything. I was carrying two delicate loads and that did mean
double the worry.
Once we knew that we were having twins I started
to look for information on twin pregnancies. I was disappointed to
see that all of the information from the midwife was for "singleton"
pregnancies, there was one page of information on twins and multiple
births, just
one page! This started my online hunt for
information. During this time I came across TAMBA, Twins and Multiple
Birth Association, who became my first port of call for information.
We are still members of this charity and will be for quite a few more
years!
I knew from early on in my pregnancy that I wanted
to breastfeed. When we found out that we were expecting twins this
did not change. But I did invest in a good electric breast pump. I
knew I would need help and if I expressed I knew I would have this.
It was also in my thoughts that there was a high chance that the
babies would be born early so I was also prepared for this.
My growing bump at 17 weeks
The first 18 weeks went well. We started to have
regular, 4 weekly, hospital appointments with our consultant and
everything was going well and my bump certainly was growing!
At around 19 weeks I started getting pains in the
base of my back and in my pubis area. I was diagnosed with Symphysis
Pubis Dysfunction. I was told that I needed to reduce my working
hours down to just mornings as this was when I was at my best.
Unfortunately I was unable to do this so I was signed off as unfit to
work. I was disappointed as I had wanted to work longer but now I
could rest and keep my babies inside and safe.
Christmas - 27 weeks
When Christmas arrived I was 27 weeks and I
remember people saying to me
"Oooh are you having a Christmas baby?"
I was so big. When I told them that I had another
13 weeks to go peoples faces dropped, it was quite amusing but also
quite annoying. Some people would be quite rude with their reactions.
I remember people saying that I was unlucky! I felt like the luckiest
person alive, I was carrying not one but two babies, how is that
unlucky?
We were extremely worried about the babies coming
early so we didn't like to look too far ahead. We prayed we would get
to each hospital appointment and once we had got there we looked to
the next. Each week, each day that I carried the babies was another
safe day for them in the warm.
At our 28 week appointment we found out that "twin
a" was breech. We were told that she could still turn, however I
was not too sure. Would there be enough room for her to turn? So we
had to accept that there was a good chance that our twins would be
born via caesarean section. I had wanted a natural birth but I also
knew that I wanted the safest possible delivery for the babies.
When I got to 31 weeks I noticed how I was getting
a persistent itching on my hand and up my arms. I would sit and
scratch so much I would make myself bleed. Nothing I did would ease
it and it was constantly there. I rang the midwife and explained it
to her and she sent me straight for blood tests. It was when the
results came back I was diagnosed with Obstetric Cholestasis.
Obstetric Cholestasis is a liver condition that
affects fewer than 1 in 100 women. It is when the bile salts that
flow from the liver to the gut do not flow as they should and build
up in the body. This increases the chance of premature birth. This
added to our worries. I had to take some medication to help and have
weekly blood tests to check the levels of bile in my blood. From this
time on the hospital would become my second home. We had a couple of
false alarms and spent many an hour there.
I was scheduled to have a caesarean section at 37
weeks.
At this stage I took each day as a bonus and
another day of protection for my babies.
Soon after I had my diagnosis the Braxton hicks
started. I had them so often they became part of our day and I would
sit stroking my bump, telling them to stay in the warm where it was
nice and safe and get bigger before coming to meet us.
When I got to 34 weeks I was absolutely enormous.
Even walking became hard work. My bump was so heavy. When I walked I
literally held my bump up for support.
When I was 34 weeks and 5 days I broke down to
James. I was so tired, so big, uncomfortable and I'd just had enough.
I remember saying to him
"I just want them to come now, I've had
enough!"
After I'd had a good cry and a moan I was ok and
rapidly backtracked and kept on saying
"I don't want them out, I want them to stay
just where they are"
I was either trying to convince myself I was ok or
I was saying it over and over in the hope that they would hear me and
take notice!
The day before the twins
arrived 34 weeks 5 days
That night in the early hours, a popping sound
woke me up, then I felt something warm. I felt my leg and it was wet.
This was it, it was happening today and there was nothing I could do
about it. I woke James up and after the call to hospital and a call
to my mum to come and look after Joseph we got my hospital bag and
went to have our babies.
I was examined and was told that I was in labour
but they needed to get steroids into me to help develop the babies
lungs. It was also during this examination we were told that our
little girl was still breech and our little boy was transverse
(sideways) so a caesarean section would be done.
My labour progressed quickly and once I was
dilated 4cms they knew that they would not be able to get the second
dosage of steroids in me as they had wanted to. I was rushed down to
theatre. I remember feeling so scared for my babies, would they be
ok? Was it too early? Would they be big enough? The worrying thoughts
were endless whilst I was on my own being prepared for the surgery.
Once James was allowed back in he calmed me down as he always does.
It all seemed to happen so quickly. Isabella was
delivered first. It felt like an eternity waiting to hear her cry,
but in reality it must have only been a minute or so. But then we
heard her. We quickly saw her and were told that she weighed 5lb 13oz
then she was quickly taken into Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).
Taylor was born exactly 1 minute later weighing 6lb 0.5oz. He was not
rushed off as quick and my husband got a cuddle for a couple of
minutes. He looked so small, all we could do was stare at him. They
soon wanted to take him to be with his sister. I told my husband to
go and be with the babies while the surgeons finished my surgery and
I went onto recovery.
Once I was out of recovery I was able to see
Isabella and have a cuddle. She seemed so small. However I was told
that I was not able to see Taylor as he was having breathing
difficulties.
When I was returned to the ward I felt so empty
and hollow. My babies had been delivered but they weren't with me.
When the other new mums were returned to the ward with their babies
my heart ached for my babies.
I was soon moved to another section of the ward
which was for mum's whose babies were in NICU. After a week I decided
to go home. Before I left I was able to have the babies with me for
one night. It was the most exhausting night I have ever had and I did
not get a minutes sleep, but I loved it. I had my babies by my side.
The morning after my first
night with the twins before I left hospital
Leaving the hospital was the hardest decision I
have ever had to make. But I am ashamed to say I was forgetting my
other baby, Joseph. He needed his mummy at home. Leaving the hospital
I was nearly on my knees in floods of tears. I felt like my heart was
being ripped out. But once I got home I knew that I had made the
right decision to leave.
Each day the babies grew stronger and their health
improved. They were soon moved from the NICU room to the Special Care
Baby Unit. Which was a huge step on the right direction.
After 12 days we were told that the twins were
well enough to come home.
Those 12 days were the longest 12 days and went by
in a complete blur of hospital visits. When we were told that the
twins could come home we were overjoyed. It all became real as we
were putting them in the car.
We had done it, they had survived and we were
taking home two small, healthy babies.
At last we were all at home, all 5 of us, our
perfect, not so little, family.
My advice for any expectant twin mum
would be to take each and every day as it comes, get as much rest as
you possibly can and try to enjoy your pregnancy. Carrying twins is
hard work on your body but it is a truly magical feeling when you
feel two little babies moving around inside.
This is just the start of an extremely
exciting journey that you will be going on.
This post was written as a guest post for Kiddieclinic parenting forum who can be found at:
http://www.kiddieclinic.co.uk/
I also mentioned TAMBA, Twins & Multiple Birth Association who can be found at:
https://www.tamba.org.uk/
