In the past I have written a lot about wanting to loose weight, I have been on numerous "weight loss journeys" and thought that being a small size was important.
This post is different.
This post is about finally having acceptance.
Acceptance that there is no "perfect" size, acceptance that you can never please, nor should you have to please everyone, acceptance that as long as I am happy, my husband loves me and our children are happy, size really has no significance.
This year I turn 40. The big 4 0 or as I like to say that fantastic 4 0! I am finally in a place where I am looking forward to embracing my 40's. I went into my 30's constantly seeking to please others and was way too concerned of what people thought of me. Not what they thought of me as a person, but what they thought of how I looked. Over the years, other peoples perception and the medias interpretation of the perfect body led me to bouts of anorexia and bulimia. I am not proud of this but I am not ashamed to discuss it. Eight years ago my life changed. Eight years ago I met the love of my life who 10 months later became my beloved husband. I am going into my 40's with him by my side, showing me a love like I have never known before, with our happy, healthy children and that makes me the happiest I have ever been.
He has always shown me unconditional love. He loves me for the person that I am, regardless of whether I am a size 12 or a size 18. He has given me so much confidence and it is thanks to him and his love that I am finally in the place that I am.
I am saying goodbye to fad diets, goodbye to calorie counting and hello to life. Of course I am going to eat healthily, I am just not going to constantly count calories or syns. Life is much to short to be stressing about whether you have put on or lost a pound in weight, it is too short to be beating yourself up because you had a slice of cake. I love food, I love drink, having good food and drink makes me happy and if it means that I am a bigger size, then so be it. I do love having curves, and I know that my husband loves me having curves and I think that now it is time to start embracing them. It is time to start loving my body. My body changed dramatically after having the twins but they are not changes that I should feel ashamed of, they are changes I should be proud of. Proud because my body carried 2 babies at the same time, carried 2 placentas and grew, protected and nurtured them both until they were ready to arrive. Little I weighed 5lbs 13oz and Little T weighed 6lbs 0.5oz, they were both good weights and my body paid the price. Now I look at the twins who are now 6 years old and I am still amazed by them and amazed by what my body did. Now it is time to celebrate my body and what it has done!
Having Little I has also made me even more aware of how I portray body image. The last thing I want is for her to grow up thinking that it is the norm to go to a slimming club, checking calories or saying "I can't eat that, it'll make me fat!". I want her to grow up loving her body, I want all of my children to grow up with the knowledge that healthy eating is good for you but I also want them to be able to enjoy treats without feeling any guilt. I want her to look in magazines and see realistic images of women, I want her to see women of all sizes on television, I pray that she grows up in a world where your size does not determine the person that you are.
My favourite image in the media from the last week was the picture above. This was a protest that was held by some stunning models and Simply Be. As long as the fashion industry use stick thin models there is always going to be that association of only thin is beautiful. The average size of UK women is a size 16 not a size 8!
I know that changes will not happen quickly with regards to the media but I know that we can make changes at home. I can show Little I that she should always feel confident in her body and the only way to do that is by leading by example. They also love me regardless of my size, I am mummy. Therefore I should also love myself.
I am taking the first steps. It will take time to rediscover myself but I have started. I will be confident, I will embrace my body and I will be fabulous at 40!
Thank you for taking the time to read this post, believe me it really has come straight from my heart x
Such a beautiful image and adore every word of this post. I relate completely. Counting syns made me miserable and obsessed with diets and at a young age and when I didn't even need to diet! It's about moderation, lots of exercise here and living my life. You are beautiful inside and out. Thank you for this xx
ReplyDeletei agree 100% with this. I am in my late 30's and have recently stopped caring what others think and do things that make me happy. I also am very careful to not push unhealthy attitudes towards food on my daughter so I am teaching her how to eat well to keep her body fit and healthy #pocolo
ReplyDeleteHi Kirsty, with age comes wisdom and body confidence that's for sure. It makes me cross that 'beauty' is portrayed in the media by semi naked stick thin women and or women who have had so much surgery they don't recognise themselves when they look in the mirror and it's so wrong. As parents it is up to us to set examples to our children and that means loving ourselves warts and all... One word that has always provoked a mini rant from me is the word 'diet' (as in weightloss). I hate the word and everything it stands for... My daughter has just turned 18 and she'll happily tuck into a bar of chocolate without thinking twice, but she'll also enjoy healthy foods. At the moment I'm happy that years of preaching about enjoying a balanced diet has paid off... Here's to a world where everyone is happy to be in their own skin!... Loved this post!
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I'm sure you'll be fabulous at 40 Kirsty! I have to say I do sometimes worry about the images in the media and the effect they have and it's hard not to be affected. I know I sometimes feel fat even though I know I'm not! I try hard never to talk about weight in front of my children and to talk about being healthy rather than slim.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I am now 41 and it’s all about exercise to make me feel better and enjoying healthy food with treats when I want them. No more diets #brilliantblogposts
ReplyDeleteI think it is about a balance and doing something that makes you happy rather then just trying to fall for them unrealistic ideals X #pocolo
ReplyDeleteI've just got 2 words, from the heart. 'Well said!'. #pocolo
ReplyDeleteWell done you! You will be fabulous at 40..... and 50..... and 60 +++ whatever size you are and there is no point in going trough life miserable (although at +50, I am still struggling with that one!). The images in the media that suggest we should all be stick thin are pretty scary and anger-making and the pressure on young girls these days to 'comply' is very worrying. I have tried so hard with Miss GF to give her an acceptable view of size and beauty, but I am a lone voice in her very large world of media and peer influence..... Adolescence is going to be rocky x
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post Kirsty. Diets are hard work wathing everything you eat and sometime you gain weight after them once you eat properly again. I am happy with my size at the minute it is just I have gained weight and would like to loss a bit as I have some nice clothes that I do not want to have to let go of. #PoCoLo
ReplyDeleteOh you are wise! And before 40, so its a big deal! Every word here is true! Just be. Size is just a number. #brillblogposts xoxo
ReplyDeleteSuch a refreshing read Kirsty! I think the older we get the more accepting we get when it comes to our bodies, self worth etc. I am right there behind you lovely and will be celebrating big 40 next year. It took me most of my adult life to get to the point where I am now and feeling comfortable with the way I am and look and if somebody doesn't like it - tough! Big thumbs up! xx
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that we al need to accept that beauty is not just a stick thin model or some-one who has had bucket loads of surgery. But, I do want to add a small caveat. People (men and women) still need to take care of their health and being vastly overweight can have negative medical implications. Yes, you can be beautiful and big but we owe it to ourselves and our families to also be as healthy as possible. I know if my weight creeps up I get more back problems and that comes before any beauty thoughts! #pocol
ReplyDeleteThere is something spectacularly relieving about accepting yourself, and enjoying life. Unfortunately I can't give up the weight loss battle, because of health issues, but I am kinder to myself than I've ever been before x
ReplyDeleteLife begins at 40 these days! <3 I've finally come to realise that the more I stress about my weight, the more I seem to put it on! Since letting go of that worry I've maintained my size and weight (size 22) for the last two years. I may not look slim, but hell, that doesn't mean I'm not beautiful, or sexy! It's all about confidence isn't it? xx #TheMMLinky
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I'm not happy with how I look and feel, but I'm not unhappy enough to get motivated to change it either! So, for now, I'm embracing it! Thanks for joining in #TheMMLinky
ReplyDeleteKirsty, I want you to know that I will also always love you - whether you are a 10/12/16/18 or whatever. You have been such an amazing friend - the size of your heart is the one that matters xx
ReplyDelete#TheMMLinky